The Quintessential Guide to Public [In]Sanity

I am a pretty impatient person by nature. I shuffle from foot to foot when lines are too long and slow moving, I mentally push other drivers forward in traffic with my kinetic powers and overall just will people to get a move on.

But I cannot be alone when it comes to common courtesy in public – some things are just rude, no matter how patient or impatient one can be. So for 2017, I’m sharing this in hopes of even just 1% of our general population becoming more socially aware and adopt a common decency in public etiquette. Ok that’s a mouthful.

So here are my tips for being a better human being in 2017:

  1. Allow one person breathing room when standing in queues. (It’s a similar principle to that of a car space in traffic)

If I can hear you chewing, swallowing your saliva or feel your breath on my neck – you are too close! Back the frack up! Most people (especially me) would like at least a foot space between them and the person behind them in a line. Honey, you are not going to get to the front any quicker if you are smelling my hair. I repeat: BACK THE FRACK UP.


  1. Move, get out the way!

It’s so lovely to see a long lost friend or family member after a long time, it’s great to catch up. It’s not great to park your trolleys and your entire family in the MIDDLE of the busy shopping mall. Dude, do the right thing, be courteous. Step to the side, out of the way and talk about your Great Aunt Matilda or park off at a coffee shop and reminisce about the good old days. Nobody likes to have to walk around your massive posse just to get down the escalator.


  1. Personal Space

By nature, most of us are social beings. We converse with a multitude of people on a daily basis. But if I can smell the coffee you had at lunch on your breath then you are waaaay too close. Back up a step… or three. Respect the invisible boundaries of personal space.  Oh and be a gem and pop in a breath mint.



  1. Cartman out!

Shopping is great. Grocery shopping is a bit more meh but still a necessary evil. Needless to say, the malls at month end are painful. Make life a teensy tiny bit easier for us all – move your trolley to the side when you contemplating items in an aisle. Be conscious of your surroundings and mindful that you are not the only person trying to get your to do list done and get home.


  1. Zip It!

Ladies! Please take note! Zip your damn handbags! Stop posting on Facebook about how your cell phone was lifted out of your bag. It probably got lifted because your bag was not zipped. Don’t become a victim. Become CONSCIOUS!


  1. Parents with Children

We all love our kids, we want to give them an outing when we stop by the mall or a public place. Be mindful of where they are. They are your responsibility. Having your kids running wild in a busy mall is not fun for anyone but your kids. There’s a time and place for everything – the mall is not it.


  1. Sunday Cruisers

Drivers, use your rear-view mirrors. Gauge the speed of the vehicles around you. Nobody’s asking you to speed. No way! But turning lanes (without using your mirrors) from driving 60 kph to a lane where others are driving 120kph is sure to end in disaster. Open your eyes and look before changing lanes. You’d also be saving many people lots of money in stress related doctors bills.


Shew! Ok that’s a lot to say.

The Quintessential Guide to Public Sanity – hope it helps!

Leave a Reply